It Never Goes Away

A few days ago, on my birthday, I went through basically the same cycle I have for a decade, because on my birthday eleven years ago, our dad passed away. Then, only three months later, our mom passed away as well.

And it was heartbreakingly tragic.

Every year it nearly always starts out with crying, calling Wendy, crying together, and through the conversation, it shifts to feelings of thankfulness to have had the parents we did. They sacrificed so much for us and provided us with a wonderful life. They’d be so proud of each of us. They would especially be in love with Wendy’s new grandbaby, Hudson. Wendy and I always end the lengthy phone call laughing at some of the fun memories we have with them.

I always tell people, the heartache never goes away, it lies dormant at times, then rushes in like a flood. But God DOES send other people into our lives to fill some of the gaps. No one can take the place of my parents, but I do have a mother- and father-in-law that treats me like their own daughter, and for that I am so thankful. I am blessed with an amazing husband and incredible children. I have a sister that has been my best friend for my entire life. I also have great bonus children and grandchildren. To add, I have fabulous sisters on my husband’s side of the family and brothers in my in-laws on both sides, who have given me super-duper nieces and nephews. I have found family in friends that share no family blood or bond, but do share a soul connection with me and I work with so many talented people every day who enrich my life.

I will always miss my parents and on my birthday, I imagine I’ll always cry with my sister while we are both still alive. And there will always be regrets.

However, I am also reminded of the many amazing memories full of love and happiness. Every birthday brings a sense of wonder to still be alive; a few short days after my birthday comes today, Thanksgiving, which serves as a powerful reminder of the many beautiful people I’ve had in my life, and the ones that are still here with me.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!! I am thankful to have you in my life!

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