My Life’s Work

When I first started writing this novel, it was because of a dream I had. I woke in the middle of the night crying, sweating, and praising God. I immediately got up, went to my computer, and started writing about the dream. I was weeping the entire time and barely able to see through my tears.

In the dream, I was homeless, alone, and had drifted from God. I was hungry and went into a food kitchen to eat. I was dirty, smelled terrible, and missed Larry so much, only I knew I could never go home. I had done too much, and had too much done to me to ever make it back to him.

After the person in the food kitchen put the food on my plate, I looked up and saw it was Larry. I was humiliated and desperately didn’t want him to recognize me. I was about to leave when in the dream Larry’s face turned into Jesus’s and He said, “I have been looking for you.”

That dream became the cornerstone of this novel. I knew already, from the dream itself, what the story was supposed to be about, and it’s different from anything I’ve ever written. I attribute this book to my wrist collapse, and subsequent non-union and screw migration, which is forcing me into another wrist surgery next month. More importantly, I attribute this book as my greatest work to date, my life’s work. I have had a strong emotional and spiritual journey with my wrist disassociation and through the writing of this novel, but today, as It Never Occurred to Her publishes, I know it is all completely worth it!

I felt every bit of the emotion that Lena felt when she looked up and saw her sweet, beautiful Gabriel. He is modeled so much after my own husband, Larry. He’s solid, dependable, loving. He can handle any truth you bring to him. I know if I was lost, Larry would try to find me, no matter how long it took, and no matter where he had to go—he’d try with all his might to find me. I say often I’ve been married to three Larry’s: the one that I met in high school, the one that came back from Afghanistan, and the one that retired, because life changes us. I know, without a doubt, that Larry has been married to a few Michelle’s. We’ve learned to embrace the changes and grow together.

Change, even when good, is scary because it alters who we are. Most people believe that only trauma or bad changes cause negative results in our lives or loved ones, but that is untrue. Good things can also bring adverse reactions. Winning the lottery, becoming successful in your career, or even something as joyful as getting married, can cause us, or the people around us to change sometimes in destructive ways. We must remember that we can 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘶𝘴.

We should try our best to love others, be empathetic to their trials, because we do represent God’s love to them, but ultimately we are only in control of the changes we allow inside of ourselves. If anyone out there needs help and doesn’t know where to start, ask God. He has been looking for you.

With all the love in my heart, Michelle.

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